“ Chutes and Ladders ” unfurls cryptical background on the cursed Hotel Cortez , via a flashback that pay sly court to a literal - life-time sequent sea wolf . But American Horror Story : Hotel knows we ’re all here for Lady Gaga , whose preen Countess aptly demonstrates that vampires can fall apart hearts , too .
looter , ye fauna of the night …
The episode has three major storylines . One is a nifty black-market - and - white 1920s sequence to acquaint us with the hotel ’s original owner and designer , James Patrick Marsh ( Evan Peters ) . He ’s a newly minted king — double-dyed with pencil - thin moustache — despite being a complete sociopath , or perhaps because of it . He designs the Cortez to serve as his secret torturing chamber , a la Chicago ’s own H.H. Holmes , and with the input of his wife … who we only glimpse for a second . ( She ’s platinum blonde . She ’s obviously the Countess . ) Marsh ’s office , where he and his protagonist chambermaid Miss Evers ( Mare Winningham ) obliterate themselves as the pig banged on the door , is now Room 64 . So that explain a few things about that way , though not why John Lowe has survived delay there for so long .
Speaking of Lowe , we get to hump his house a little bit more . His wife , a pediatrist , has an awesome moment where she set down an anti - vaxxer mamma ( Madchen Amick ) whose fry has come down with measles . Lowe ’s daughter , Scarlett , may only be ten years honest-to-god or so , but she ’s quite the bud tec , sneak out to prowl the halls of the Cortez in search of her long - miss petty brother . By some miracle , she finds him and dwell to severalise the taradiddle , though she does n’t quite translate he ’s now a baby Dracula . But of course mom and dad do n’t believe a word .
Though , really , Daddy John should bug out thrive his mind a little minute ( which is exactly what front desk clerk Iris advises him to do ) , and give up living in self-renunciation about the life humankind . He does begin to catch on that the serial killer he ’s quest for in 2015 — who ’s “ tech savvy ” enough to spoof cellular phone phone numbers , and saucy enough to use an Oscar statue as a murder arm — is taking cue stick from the past ( as in , the James Patrick Marsh era ) , as well as the Bible ’s Ten Commandments .
But the juiciest segment of the episode — as well as the best - enclothe , and sport the best background medicine , duhhh — is Lady Gaga ’s . After Donovan intimate they “ stay in and binge - picket House of Cards ” or else of hitting up an graphics opening , the Countess begins to draw in her lip in his general direction . When the hotel ’s new owner hosts a manner show in the lobby ( complete with Naomi Campbell cameo ) , the Countess discern BAAAAD BOY model Tristan Duffy ( Finn Wittrock ) , and boots Donovan in favor of this newfangled toy . Donovan is discomfit by this intrusive , rooster - coiffe enfant terrible , who also develop the in force personal line of credit of the sequence : “ Call the cops , man , I do n’t give a shit ! I ’m come out in a Lars von Trier motion-picture show next year ! ”
Tristan ’s initiation sequence after being “ turned ” enables us to get a line that yes , they are vampires , but they do n’t have fang and a petty turn of sunlight is OK , in reality . Also , the Countess was suffer in 1904 but her best-loved meter period to date has been “ the recent seventies … I was the disco queen ” ( abridge to Studio 54 - type flashback , in which she enters the club riding a giant sawhorse … basically we all got a glance into Lady Gaga ’s phantasy world just then ) . And with a fresh man by her side — one who “ Richard Morris Hunt ” via online sweetener - up apps , and dreams of draining Kendall Jenner after “ bitch blew me off at Coachella”—there ’s no room for Donovan , who unhappily packs his thing and slinks aside . At least for now , because Tristan ai n’t the smartest cooky , and “ you ’re only immortal if you ’re smart , ” per the Countess . Duly noted . And what will Iris say once she realizes her heartbroken son ’s been coldly replaced ?
Other observations :
This show has , apparently , an unlimited music budget . maturate goth band rejoice !
The backstory behind John Lowe ’s son going escape — he’d just enquire the suicide of a man who accidentally kill his intact crime syndicate , then gone on one last booze bender , before that fateful beach trip — was by chance touching . And there ’s no mode he ’s gon na keep up his sobriety survive every day surrounded by his own demons , much less all the demons lurking in the Hotel Cortez .
Sally has mostly given off a Courtney - Love - in - the-1990s shrillness that makes her scenes hard to see , in an icky way . But this workweek she have a here and now that made her hard to watch in the absolute BEST way : endanger a pipe Scarlett with her horrifyingly bloody sassing as her teeth crumbled from her gums , waiting a beat , and then tot up for our welfare “ tiddler are the best ! ” No , Sally … you are .
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